i feel so fucking lost , god damn it i just want to talk about it with someone but i can't my parents would just worry and lecture me and i'm afraid that my friends will judge me . i just want to die and end this suffering idk why i can never be happy even if everything is perfect i ruin it i just don't feel like i deserve anything good to come to my life i have also lost hope in humanity people disappoint me so much every single time someone comes to my life and i let them in they ruin me hurt me betray me i have lost the joy of meeting new people falling in love making new friends this world just sucks it's filled with all these horrible people liars that will step on you if it benefits them sometimes i feel like if i feel so lonely all the god damn time maybe i would be better to live alone in some isolated island or to not exist at all