life has been feeling kinda suckkish. Recently I found out my friend loss her father at a young age. When I heard that I thought about my life even more. So many people in this lovely world have suffered more than me…so why am I crying, weeping at night, being fine and smiley at day? I shouldn’t be sad at all I told myself. I stop validating my emotions. Slowly, my emotions bottled up. And sadly I haven’t poured it out yet. Now I feel like a failure. I’m not smart or talented. I can’t even get a good mark to please my parents. I’m not that perfect student the teachers love. I’m not that social butterfly that makes friends with anyone. I envy my other friend. She is smart, the teachers love her, love socializing. Then look at me. I have done self-harm which is something I feel comfort but…I feel shameful. According to the bible suicide is a sin. Will the angels still welcome me with open hands? Even admitting my pain to everyone is unknown to me. To me I feel selfish. I feel like im just being attention seeking by asking for help. I know that’s not true but that doesn’t mean I can change the way I feel. Even thought I feel like dying I don’t want to do it.i worry what will happen. But im tired and sad. I “smile” in front of my friends and classmates. I act like a “normal” child at home.I think and cry when the moon is out and everyone is sleeping. I know there are many more that are just like me…I like to hear your story.I love everyone of you.Its ok if you are sad ill be with you.If you are happy ill celebrate with you.If you are done with life, we can all help each other out. "Fight the storm to see the rainbow". Remember that, okay? And at night we will twinkle like the stars in the glimmering night.