Each and every single day my anxiety makes me sick.
sick to my stomach ,
sick up to my chest,
sick of everyone in my life,
sick of everyone not in my life.
each and every day it’s the urgency, the nausea, the guilt as if I’ve done something to regret, the regrets that I forgot still carried guilt.
the dire need to have someone, see someone, be someone’s.. coupled by the impending weight of what it feels like to need to be -the one . The weight of myself around another person, what it feels Ike to be so different from every other person .
the desire to be like, like minded, like skilled, alike in passions , liked.
battling with a constant need to be special, ultimate, perfect & irresistible.
each and every day I feel sick.
sick of me, sick of you.
Sick of you being so different than me,
sick of me being so different than you- sick of being so similar but no one wants to compare themselves to a brainiac, a princess or a leader .. but who does a leader lead when they too are manipulated, when they too crave directions to take .
and at what point do I stop being an anomaly, to what degree am I interconnected
to what limit am I self.
I feel sick every day