I’m a young high schooler and i haven’t felt anything in so long. My life is normal. I couldn’t ask for more, but that doesn’t change the fact that I just can’t feel anything anymore. Life feels like this big video being played over and over and over again and i’m sick of it. I haven’t had a single relationship and I just want to love again. Before i thought it was stupid and that was when i actually felt love and had crushes on peolle. But now I don’t even know if I like anyone at this point. Whenever i talk to people it feels like i’m playing of game of what they want to hear and to avoid what they don’t. It doesn’t feel real to me anymore. I can’t feel anything. I can’t feel happiness, I can’t feel love, this just sucks. I’m not depressed just so damn unhappy with my inability to actually love someone. I’m not suicidal but wouldn’t care if I died. Everything feels like an old washed out game i’ve been playing for too long and i’m tired of it. I’m sick of telling myself that if I wait maybe eventfully i’ll feel love and get into a relationship but time is running out and i’m tired of this mentality. I’ve always been told i have to work for stuff and i’m running out of time. I have the rest of this damn covid year and 2 years of highschool and i’m done. I’m done with my childhood and i’m done with my freedom. I’m scared to fall into this same loop. I want to actually feel excitement in my life. I just want to feel so badly and i’m running out of time to.