I feel so tired and hopeless

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I should feel great right now but I cant overcome certain memories and traumas. Whoever said god gave you only what you could handle was a lying sack of shit. We are paying for logic like that. At my core I know I am loved but everything else feels wrong. I am flushed with anxiety in an endless sea of cynical truths. And yet life goes on. I have no way to navigate, trusting the universe kind of backfired big time. Destiny can be cruel, you never know but knowing this we still have to perform at our best to get anywhere in life? It sickens me

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