Hello dadyou ruined me.i’ll never Be okay and it’s ALL YOUR FAULTi am so fucking tired of hearing you scream all night.i have to wake up at 5am just to get ready for school, and I get no sleep because baby needs his fucking bottle. Or bottles should I say. i have tried to tell you so many times about my mental health and you’ve ignored me every single time. I am trying my best. But i’m 15 I can’t do this alone. But I know I don’t have you in my corner. You yell and scream about how terrible your life is. WELL I’M SORRY I WAS FUCKING BORN OKAY?!? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR?! I’M SORRY I HAD TO COME OUT A AUTISTIC PEICE OF SHIT I’M SORRY I CANT BE NORMAL I’M SO FUCKING SORRY THAT YOU MADE ME THIS WAY.I’m just a kid. YOUR mental health is not my job. Did you know I can’t remember my elementary school years? Honestly i’m Glad.because I feel it’s so much worse than what I do remember. I remember is feeling so hopeless and heartbroken going home. Knowing I would have to be with you. I was suicidal by age 7. I remember you saying that we couldnt tell anyone you hit us or we would be separated I remember you DROPPING ME ON MY HEAD INTENTIONALLY and now I have new memories, yay!!i remember the day last November when you came home drunk, and yelled at us for not taking in the trash even though we tried to explain that when we got home the trash people hadn’t came yet and we had just gotten home. I remember that you literally broke a hole a hole in the garage wall from slamming the trash can. i remember you hitting my stepmom, who is the closest thing I have ever had to a mother. Just because she was trying to protect us I remember thinking you were going to kill mei remember seeing you slam the door off to get even more drunki remember sobbing afterwards apologizing that I couldn’t protect my stepmom I remember her begging for you to get away from her i remember having to go back to school and pretend everything was fine. And there’s more not from that dayi remember thinking I would have to call the police on my own father because I was worried you would hurt my stepmom i remember you admitting to me how much you love hurting thingsi remember hiding in a closet with a locked door blasting animal crossing music from my DS just so I wouldn’t hear you and my stepmom scream at each otherI remember the time I heard you say you wanted to get a gun and the only thing I could think of was a bullet going through my brain because you would get too drunk.i remember that my aunts house was the one time I felt comfortable enough to sleep on the couch because of you i remember you saying you knew I wanted to be like you. I would rather die than EVER be like you, you fucking monster. but to be fair, Stepmom and my sister aren’t perfect either hey sissy, i’m Tired of the way you treat me. Why do I let you do this? Why? I feel like I’m being abused by my own sisteri’m sorry my disability is the reason you had to go to another school and you now have to ride the disabled busbut you have NO RIGHT to talk about me and my friends like that.ESPECIALLY telling your friends I was autistic. No wonder they treat me like i’m a baby even tho we’re twins. Step mom- please stop fucking ignoring me and being a bitch to my sister. I don’t care what she does and what you say, I will always protect her. But most of all, fuck you too my neighborsyou cannot tell me you don’t hear the yelling. I know you fucking do. Why haven't you helped us? I feel trapped. If I run away dad will find me.if I run away you might kill my cat and he is the only thing that gives me joy.if I run away I couldn’t even imagine what you would do to my sister or stepmom. But it if I kill myself? I fear the same things. I want to be with my titi’s. They know how your like. They’ll protect me.the whole family would understand. They know you. But I don’t have enough evidence for court.so I would just go back into your custody and probably be killedclearly I see no other option but to try to stick it though until i’m 18 and get away with my cat as soon as possible. He doesn’t deserve to die just because I can’t stay there. I love him more than anything and I can’t leave him to die. Hopefully my titi’s will let me keep him.you haven’t hit me in a while now. But the second you you give me a bruise, it’s over for you. I’ve been working on collecting evidence.so far I have 2 30 second recordings on my DS and the broken garage wall.but when I get more, and I can take it to court? I will rain hell upon you. I hope you fucking rot (honestly I’m suprised you haven’t already, I mean somehow you haven’t gotten alcohol poisoning or died by drunk driving, impressive.) also stop leaving garbage and shit everywhere you pig, what do you think I am, a maid? I know i’m A coward and i’m Too scared right now, but once I know I can win, it’s over for you.