Ive never used anything like this but I am so lonely. I am ftm and graduated high school about a year ago and moved to a completely different state. My life is filled with changes and short comings but most of all confusion. I always felt so confused since I was a child and i really think that stunted my brains development or something but thats just one of my problems I suppose. I want someone to be there for me but I really feel worthless and I am not sure if dating or talking to anyone would be worth it for their sake. They have plenty of options so why choose me? I have dating apps just because I want to have real and genuine conversations but obviously that dont work lol its just so cold all the time man I just dont know what to do. Since I was a little kid all I did was play video games and watch youtube and whatnot and those used to be my best memories but now it feels so pathetic like I just wanna be productive everyday but damn thats so difficult. I know no one will see this but im just hurting a bit, not like the hurt I am used to but the hurt where I have control over it but I feel restricted from fixing myself which just sounds stupid. Sure I could be productive and fix my schedule and find people but it feels so unobtainable. I feel so watered down. Even just a message or anything would feel like a sign that im not truly alone in the world.