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i f**ked my life up

hi people im trying this first time idk why but i think i need to. i have issues with my parents. my mom today beat the f**k out of me because i asked her switch off the light she turned on while leaving. she says things to piss my dad off even when they are not true just so he gets angry too and beats me or just treats me like trash like she does. i tried telling her i have been feeling low today yet instead of understanding she forcefully makes me watch a video that she thinks is funny and i mean it is just a normal thing for her to d but idk how and why i stormed at her for not letting me live my life the way i want just because of her unnecessary fears that she is to willing to let go. ive been feeling low because i just ended a toxic relationship too, i mean i felt really low when i was with him but now nothing really changed but the only thing i liked was talking to him and that stopped, so basically i am left with the worst feelings and with the worst parents. she beats me almost everyday for no reason and just for her inner peace somehow makes it my fault and tells my dad in that way and my brother is just way terrible and hence stays out of everything. i love them but i cannot live with them i really need help i have no relatives who would understand me and help me. if i could i would leave this house instantly but i have nowhere to go or anyone to count on.

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Re: i f**ked my life up

U did nothing wrong. The best thing u can do for yourself and i know it sounds messed up but u need to distance yourself emotionally. You'll be much happier once u do. You can't allow yourself to accept this horrible treatment just because its ur "mom" . tht makes it even more unacceptable. Ur mother is supposed to be one of the two ppl in this world tht should make u feel safe, hold YOU close and tell u no matter what happens when her arms are wrapped around u there's nothing tht can hurt you. Love those who LOVE you but DON'T let LOVE fuck up ur vision. Its not being heartless but u deserve better. Distance yourself emotionally from the ones tht treat u wrong. They'll realize something is wrong and if they LOVE you they'll change. If not well its just more reason for u to cut them out of ur life. I've distanced myself from relatives. Sometimes the life draining leaches are family members. Dnt do anything bad to yourself. Move forward ur not ALONE here. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. 🙏😊