sometimes i really wish i never existed. i hate everything and everyone i wish no one knew i existed. i haven’t done any of my school work for months and i think i’m gonna be held back but does it even matter?? literally nothing on this earth matters no matter how important everyone thinks they are because we’re all just going to die anyways. we could all die tomorrow for all we know. i’m always in my head with my own little fantasy that i made because my childhood was so shit and that’s the only way i can cope. i tried to not be in my head all the time but it just felt like a heavy weight all over my body and i wanted to kill myself so bad . i don’t know what to do my dad can’t even be bothered to get me a birthday card for my birthday and only pretends he wants to have a relationship with me when my mom asks him to pay for my child support . no one even likes me not even my mother or father so why should i live. i know no one likes me i know i’m annoying so why should i live. i’m just a burden to society and i just want to die . i’ve tried getting help but my mom won’t get me a therapist so i’m just left here to sit and rot in my own head. i wish i would just disappear . the only reason i’m still alive today is because of my cat . can you believe that ? i feel like the only thing on this planet that loves me is my cat.