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I Hate it.

My heart. It's beginning to get heavier with all these feelings that I can't be cured of. I hate it. I hate being problematic but being able to keep it in because I'm too scared to show my feelings. I hate that I'm a disappointment. I hate that I'm being questioned for being insecure. I hate that people hate that I'm changing because the things they've done. I hate being hated for being priveliged and being hated for not being able to express my appreciation. I hate that people don't know why I'm insecure.i hate that I'm too much of a coward to tell anyone about it. I hate that I can't build a relationship. I hate being shy and accused for it. I hate being judged. Im not fond of my toxic family. I hate that I might become like them. I hate being laughed at for something i think was serious. I hate that I'm classified as a joke. I hate that Im not good enough. I hate that everyone's problems are always recovered after a little bit of silent treatment. So that why I'll distance myself forever. Not gonna kill myself, after some thinking, no, but just, keep my distance. Oh and one last thing, I hate that I won't feel this way tomorrow.