Today is my birthday, I’m 20 years old now and I hate it. Being an adult is a lot harder than I thought it would be, and I’m constantly struggling with knowing that it’s okay that people just don’t care about me. I was never popular, didn’t have any friends really. My family didn't give me attention because I was the second middle child. I’ve felt invisible most of my life. It made me attracted to people who manipulated and used me. I remember on my 13th birthday, I asked my mom what we would do for my birthday and she screamed, “not everything is about you” straight in my face. After that, I tried really hard to pretend I didn’t care about my birthday. My dad is so convinced that being an adult should be a lonely, hardening experience, but I’m just a really lonely person, and I wish people cared more. I want to scream to the world that I’m okay and have someone listen. I guess that’s too much to ask for. I don’t know how long I can take being all alone.
Re: I hate my birthday.
Have you considered getting a pet ... having just one house cat or lapdog can make up for a lot of the feelings that you get from leaving behind your adolescence I’m sure your parents could be convinced that taking responsibility for a pet is a good sign that your taking adulthood seriously or that a pet could convince you to feel less invisible.