I just finished facetiming my bf of almost two years. And there was something I couldn't get off my mind. I hated looking at myself in the camera. I brought up one comment about how I didn't like the fat on my face. After my bf proceeded to tell me I was beautiful and yadda yadda yadda. That spiraled into a whole monologue about why I hate myself. When he showered me in compliments I somehow only felt worse, but I don't even know why. I just can't love myself at all. I have zero self confidence. I have no idea why he is still with me after all this time. One of his closest friends is a literal model and actress and whatnot. She is extremely smart and tall and gorgeous. Recently they have been getting really close because they have a lot of the same classes together. And he says he loves me, and I love him more than words can say. But for some reason I feel like he is taking pity on me. On the other hand I know if he left me I literally would not be able to cope with it. Day after day I feel like these feelings are only getting worse.