i still have that stupid crush over my friend. i hate it. i hate that i still get butterflies in my stomach when i see her on social media. i hate that my heart beats so fast when i come across her name. i hate that i still feel that longing feeling when it comes to her. fuck, i hate that i like her, still. i hate that one day, she's gonna be with someone who isn't me. i hate that we still didn't talk even after our "fight" has been resolved. i hate all those things, but I don't hate her. i think i love her, man. I don't know. i kept saying that i'll always be happy for her but fuck, i'm jealous that she's gonna be happy without me. i'm jealous that someone's gonna come into her life that's going to make her the happiest than i ever made her. i'm jealous, but i wish her all the best. if you love 'em, set them free, y'know? but i wish that i didn't have to let her go.