I hate every single part of my body and I avoid to see it as much as I can. Sometimes, I look in the mirror and start looking for defects so I can hate myself even more.I feel like I can't be myself with my friends around cause they'd mock me or something like that, but I can't just leave them cause in my mind apparently having bad friends is less worse than having no friends. I had no friends for a while and the feeling of loneliness is maddening.I tried to kill myself plenty times and it gave me scars that probably will linger for the rest of my life, and every time I look at my arms I feel awful and disgusted.My family is formed by a bunch of liars that just can't tell me the truth. My mother used to mock people around me because of their appearance - though she never said anything about my appearance I feel like she found me very ugly.She got pregnant when she was 16, which obviously makes me an accident.Sometimes I don't really wanna die, but I also don't wanna live my life. I stay in my room for the whole day for 2 years now.But sometimes I do wanna die. Actually, I wish I were never born. That'd be better.