I hate my mom

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I honestly really hate my mom. She thinks everything I say is just a "phase" or a "joke". For example, today my mom wanted me to order from McDonald's. Normal as you'd think but I have social anxiety. When you have social anxiety you start to feel self contious and nervous. It's worst then what you think. I just kept saying "huh" to the lady who was doing the ordering and stuttering. I told my mom I have Social anxiety but she just laughed and said "nu uh". When I finished I wanted to cry of embarrassment but I couldn't infront of people. I still feel like crying but I can't. After that my mom noticed they didn't give me the Drink so she asked me to go ask for it. I've should of done it but I standed there like a coward and she just got mad. I got nervous, I wanted to cry and I didn't wanna be embarrassed but my mom just doesn't believe me in things. I hate her alot. I wish I had a mom who would understand the struggle and not complain about it. I wish I could disappear and not exist to embarrass myself from everything. There's many things she has done. She constantly body shames me than tells me "you're beautiful" or "don't let anyone tell you things" when everything is really true. She tells me not to eat too much but still asks "why don't you wanna eat". She tries covering it up like she didn't do anything. It hurts when she says or does these's things but is hippocratic. I just want a mom who doesn't judge me or anything except appreciate the daughter she has. I hate her so much I wanna kill her if I was honest. You may say that's how mothers are but this has been going on since I was 10 and it still continues to happen. Body shame after body shame.

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