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I hate myself and am ready to give up

I am sad all the time

My family doesn't seem to care

My friends are the only people who really bring me joy

Im angry and sad and full of self hatred and pity

If I wasn't so afraid of dying I would have probably been done with life way before now.

I often have thoughts of harming myself severely.

I shouldn't pity myself like I do, I shouldn't look at myself like the victim I see myself to be, but I do. And for that it just makes me resent myself even more.

Its just an endless cycle of hatred and sadness and I dont know how to stop it anymore.

The only thing keeping me from falling off the deep end is my friends and my partner, without them id be lost.

I'm just tired of me.

And for some reason I cant tell anyone that.