(!! I posted this on another tab aswell, I’m just looking for more answers on this one !!) Ok so this is a long one, so I apologize in advance, but please read my story. ive never told anyone this, but to put it bluntly, I was ‘touched’ when I was younger, by my uncle.&nbsp;he touched me inappropriately for years before the specific incident, starting probably when I was about 9.&nbsp;one night, when I was around 11, my mom asked him to babysit me because my parents both worked, he was a drunk then, and he still smokes weed. He was high and drunk that night, when he made me touch him. It was only briefly, because I said no and ran upstairs soon after. I sat up there with a knife until he passed out, and didn’t get any sleep.I still hate my right hand, and I hate using it to touch my face or other people. I think I often have weird issues with it, like whenever I remember, I subconsciously hit it on objects like my desk in school to stab my hand with my pencil.recently, I went to my friends birthday party and her dad got drunk and started being very ‘friendly’ towards her. He didn’t touch her or anything, but it was weird. Anyway, I think I had a panic attack but I don’t want to self diagnose. I couldn’t breathe and I was (unintentionally) sobbing, along with wanting to kill her dad right then and there. She asked me and persisted, so I just told her my family is full of drunks, (which it is anyway) and she backed off the topic.&nbsp;im considering telling my 16 y/o cousin, but I’m afraid he’ll tell because I feel guilty and gross all the time. I don’t really want my uncle to go to prison, for some stupid reason. They probably wouldn’t believe me and my cousin anyway. I can’t talk about without shaking and/or crying, for some reason. anyway I appreciate you reading and understand if you don’t know how to approach this. :)just for preface, I’m only 12 now :/&nbsp; (extra notes:) <ul><li>a lot of the time I feel disgusted with myself and want to cut my hand off??</li><li>I get really angry whenever I think about it, and even sometimes think about killing him, but those thoughts never last long</li><li>he also has a chode, which I can find humor in</li><li>no, I have not seen a therapist lol</li></ul>

(!! I posted this on another tab aswell, I’m just looking for more answers on this one !!)Ok so this is a long one, so I apologize in advance, but please read my story.ive never told anyone this, but to put it bluntly, I was ‘touched’ when I was younger, by my uncle. he touched me inappropriately for years before the specific incident, starting probably when I was about 9. one night, when I was around 11, my mom asked him to babysit me because my parents both worked, he was a drunk then, and he still smokes weed. He was high and drunk that night, when he made me touch him. It was only briefly, because I said no and ran upstairs soon after. I sat up there with a knife until he passed out, and didn’t get any sleep.I still hate my right hand, and I hate using it to touch my face or other people. I think I often have weird issues with it, like whenever I remember, I subconsciously hit it on objects like my desk in school to stab my hand with my pencil.recently, I went to my friends birthday party and her dad got drunk and started being very ‘friendly’ towards her. He didn’t touch her or anything, but it was weird. Anyway, I think I had a panic attack but I don’t want to self diagnose. I couldn’t breathe and I was (unintentionally) sobbing, along with wanting to kill her dad right then and there. She asked me and persisted, so I just told her my family is full of drunks, (which it is anyway) and she backed off the topic. im considering telling my 16 y/o cousin, but I’m afraid he’ll tell because I feel guilty and gross all the time. I don’t really want my uncle to go to prison, for some stupid reason. They probably wouldn’t believe me and my cousin anyway. I can’t talk about without shaking and/or crying, for some reason.anyway I appreciate you reading and understand if you don’t know how to approach this. :)just for preface, I’m only 12 now :/ (extra notes:)a lot of the time I feel disgusted with myself and want to cut my hand off??I get really angry whenever I think about it, and even sometimes think about killing him, but those thoughts never last longhe also has a chode, which I can find humor inno, I have not seen a therapist lol

Please know that you did nothing wrong and the only person who is at fault is your uncleI cannot believe that this kind of person...I can't even call him human..existsYou should talk to your parents about itYou also need therapy as this is pretty traumatic...and that uncle should go to jail, so don't feel bad about itPlease tell someone about it...you don't deserve that kind of abuse, nobody does!

Please know that you did nothing wrong and the only person who is at fault is your uncleI cannot believe that this kind of person...I can't even call him human..existsYou should talk to your parents about itYou also need therapy as this is pretty traumatic...and that uncle should go to jail, so don't feel bad about itPlease tell someone about it...you don't deserve that kind of abuse, nobody does!