This is gonna be messy and short but I hate myself.I spend hours everyday pondering about life, questioning what's real and what's not. I want to kill myself every day but I don't do it because we only get one chance to live (that's what we know, at least) and I still wanna keep it even if it hurts me. I'm useless. I stopped studying but my parents think I'm a good student. I will fail all of my tests because I don't study and I'm so terrified of everyone's reaction. I know I need to change but I refuse because it's too much work. I didn't ask to be born anyway. That's why I don't deserve anything. It would be better if I were dead.