I'm married and I do not enjoy sex, often feel pain instead. I think it's overrated. My partner and I are very emotionally disturbed about the same. What are the solutions. When pain started, my husband would say I'm pretending and it's an excuse to avoid sex, he became bitter with me often times. So I would offer sex without any emotional attachment whatsoever, I lost the libido and the urge. Later on he came to and understood how much pain i was having but it was too late, I had lost that urge for sex and I don't know to to get it back.