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I hate what adoption has done to me

I feel so stupid. Open adoption has been by far the worst thing that has ever happened in my life. I feel so used and under appreciated. Adoptive parent insulted my heritage, nitpicked over unimportant details concerning the "contract", and the other AP picked up my daughter (still not even out of the hospital yet) without ever even asking. I've been living this nightmare for eleven years and counting. It just keeps on getting more difficult to play the game. I want to tell my daughter her truth....they have severed the ties so deeply....so intentionally....now they want to apologize....now they "realize" that they could have been better. They asked to change her name three days after I gave birth....I said I didn't mind for fear of the adoption closing. I thought; "no one with any decency would actually change her name"....I was so wrong! I am college educated....married the biodad who has a phD.....I am not some human vesicle to be discarded and disrespected. So much secrecy, manipulation and insecurity. I hate them will my being!!!

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Re: I hate what adoption has done to me

Yes adoption is indeed the worst. I'm sorry about what happened to you......just enjoy your daughter when you can. Only seven more years and she's calling the shots....stay gold and she'll choose you.....It's sad what infertility and money can do to a situation. Insecure because you share DNA and she knows you. Good luck and stay involved....they want you to quit so they can have what they paid for. I think most APs choose open adoption as a way to get the "pick of the litter" if you will.....in domestic adoption. Gots to love another form of an industrialized complex.