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I have fucked up my own life

I'm totally fucked up rn with my life..i.m almost on the verge of tears...i just want to finish everythung..i'm not like these normal people...how do i even survive in this monotonous world! Everything is ruined.. all this is happening becoz of the way i am.. i don't want to show the world how am i? They will mock me...I don't want to prove any point to anybody..i just want to be myself...i wish i could be... but now honestly i dont see any ray of hope. It's all clear yet blur!