Maybe it's actually that I lost her so long ago I've forgotten exactly who she is. Or maybe it's that I do know in my own way but I've just lost all motivation to be her. My inspiration has been dry for so long I can't even imagine my escape anymore. It's like I'm part of the background, wondering why no one can see me. Did I choose this? Did I do this to me?
I feel like the great white shark in the tank at the aquarium. In a tank. On fu**ing LAND. Miles away from any large body of water (or worse, I'm right next to it) but, even in this tank, everyone avoids me. On the outside people come to see me like I'm a sideshow attraction. Marvelous to see and admire but never to get too close, much less touch.
Oh how the dolphins are admired and kissed at and cuddled and loved.
God I'm annoying.