Depression hurts like a bitch. Many of you know this by now. I just want it to get better soon. I'm so suicidal and I've had 3 breakdowns in front of my parents this week alone. I need to get my shit together, but I am too busy feeling sorry for myself to do so. I feel like a failure and I know it's true. I can't do anything right. I know my depression has put a toll on my parents because I've heard them say so. But damn does it suck. I feel like shit because I'm causing my one reason to live (my mom) such pain but I can't stop. I have cried myself to sleep every night for a week. I know I'm a miserable grump to be around, I've heard people say that too, but imagine living in my headspace for a week. I should probally go to a pysch ward, but I know my family couldn't afford that.