I don't think I am in love with you anymore, but this version of you that I have created of you inside my head. The memories my brain has created by remembering and adjusting little by little every time I remember them are so painfully beautiful that when I dream of them it leaves me behind feeling numb. After three years I still escape in these fantasies, wondering how much I made up or whether we were actually this wonderful. But then again we both messed us up. You probably dont know how I am feeling about you but then again I am wondering if you have become different to my version of you. Maybe I am not actually loving you but instead the way you made me feel. In my worst fantasies I still cling onto the hope that afterall it will always be us and we will find a way back together. If you are not this version that I remember you as anymore I dont care. You owe me a kiss goodbye, pulling me back into bed one more time, holding my head while I fall asleep one more time so this time I can imprint evety detail in my memory so I dont have to wonder whether it was reality. No one is ever going to leave such a deep mark like you did, and I wonder if I will ever get as close to someone as I got to you.