I haven't even thought about it in a long time, but I'm in so much pain. I feel like a monster. Luckily I feel better now.There is no place on Earth for me - I don't belong anywhere. Why am I even doing this? I'm a grown ass adult. I should have more control over my emotions, but I guess not.Additionally, my suicide note is written. I live completely alone so it'd be time before anyone found my body.