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i just needed to vent

im just really sad, mad idek anymore, my mental health has been shit these days, i miss my friends so much, my self esteem is the worst ever i just cant anymore, today my mom just invalidated my phobia and just told me i was being a little bitch while yelling at me while i was having a panic attack in the middle of my house as my brother laughed at me, after that she just told me that i cant take care of the only thing keeping me going rn that is my dog cuz she threw up and i have emetophobia, which causes me to have panic attacks at the sight or mention of vomit, and that makes me feel really bad and guilty cuz while she is feeling bad i cant even comfort her cuz of my dumb fucking phobia, then she yelled at me for getting mad at my brother and holding his arm lightly for like 2 seconds for laughing at me while i was sobbing on the floor, and now shes making fun of me for crying, my family is one of the most important things in my life and was one of the only things keeping me going through all of these hard times, well, as you can see, now its just contributing to all of the bad, ohh and my dad threatened to put my dog up for adoption :))