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I just wanna hurt my self

no matter what i do I cuse probblens between eavry one i was cooking pasta fucking pasta and i throw some spaghetti on the wall to see if it was cooked and my dad called me a dick head and smoked me and tolde me all i do is wreck shit and them my mum told him i did nothing wrong and then they had a big argument this is one of meany things that they have faght about cuse of me and when i was younger i was tolled by all my sibling im ging to be making my parents devource and now all I want to do is hurt my self or or die

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Re: I just wanna hurt my self

One of my kids plotted to cause our divorce for a yr. we still loved our baby. Kids do shit. Throwing spaghetti on the wall is a dick move. My kids did worse. I did worse than all of you put together. I have something called the risk taker gene. I jumped the motorcycle over a parked car. Even crazier shit. We’re i not an amazing athlete I’d died from stupidity.

You just get urges to do stupid shit right? One time my son was on the edge of winning a national title in a sport. He disappeared. I found him in a food line eating nachos talking to a girl. Missed the match. I took him home. He pulled shit like that endlessly. Still does. He’s strong as an ox. I weigh 245. One day when he was 10 he suddenly picked me up & body slammed me on the wood floor. I was looking for my autistic sons shoes. Then I was spinning in the air & hitting the floor I said hey mother fucker. He laughed at me. Ass hole. But I love my baby.

Yes I could have reversed it; but only by hurting him. So I took the blow. This kid was beating kids taller than me. They couldn’t let him spar kids his weight & age. So he tested dad. Little shit. Still makes me laugh.

You have brain chemistry issues. But growing & maturing is learning to ignore certain impulses. My wanker gets excited every time a pretty woman batts her eyes. Yet I don’t act on that biology programming in my head. You have to start taking ownership of your behavior. You can’t help the impulses. Try to control the actions. It will take time. You will make mistakes. But I love you little brother. We are all sons & daughters of God. We are all here to help each other. Your a good kid. Never ever believe otherwise no matter what. Just do your best ok.

Jesus loves you.