It's been a long time like this. I don't feel bad anymore, I just don't feel anything. I am failing my classes, not showering, just afloat.. somewhere, too scared to die because I don't want to hurt anyone, but unwilling to live either.It almost feels ridiculous, writing this on the internet like it's something very serious. I ignore my friends. I ignore life.I feel like I have lost something essential, something that made me human, alive. I don't know what it is. I will try more, and maybe it will go away someday. It's been 6 years and I'm so tired of it and me. I can't die, so I'll keep trying. I am almost certain it's pointless but, whatever.