I kinda fucked myself over

Time Spent- 8m
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I hit on my older friend today and we got really far and I don't know if I feel bad about it. But guilt is kinda just filling me up. The problem is that I realized that I flirt and hit on him so much because I'm afraid that if I don't, we will get distant. I don't know if you know, I should be worried about being his friend. I can't really control myself around him, he really gets me going. I have to stop, I really do. He knows that, he knows how I feel. I'm scared that if we don't do anything that we would just get distant. I mean everything is online, but that doesn't really change anything.

Whats even worse is I have a boyfriend. I don't even think I like my friend tbh, I think I'm just sexually into him but other than that, I don't want to be more than friends. But with my bf, its different. I love him.