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i like hurting my self why??

this just happend today i was stress and angry about something so i pick the cutter at first i was scared not because of hurting my self but someone finding out that i cut my self but i did it i did a few but i make sure that there willl no blood but then i cut again its tiny but not supper its like a line there is a little bit blood but its ok it hurt but i like how it feels but i was like maybe it has germs so i put alcohol on it it feels good so put again then i find a key i use it again to hurt my self but there is no blood in makes me calm.. why??

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speak up

maybe you need to talk to someone about this... like a close friend or sibling. only because you'll never know if they might want to help out. Self harm is the worst thing you can possibly do to yourself. You'll never know if you might hit the wrong vein and then boom god forbid something happens.