It's been ten years now. A school friend texted me and told me one of my peers had passed away. He committed suicide. I thought he was troubled in some kinda way, but I never got to know how much.I just can't forgive myself for not being there for him in rough times. I knew his girlfriend had left him.Last time I saw him, I paid him no mind. I was in a on and off thing with a girl. Bad times and fell like shit for even liking her. So a lot was on my mind at the time.But still I can't forgive myself.I remember I talked to him about suicide when we where kids. Telling him the bad part was for the ones that stayed. The ones that tried and failed but got hurt badly. Family. Friends. I even talked about the people having to clean the mess.I never thought I was speaking about myself on the future.Sometimes I think I didn't tell him I was his friend. I wasn't just a classmate. I didn't knew his parents. He could talk to me. But he didn't. He probably didn't knew that he could.I wasn't even notified about his departure. I couldn't go to the service, because I didn't know it happened. I regret it so much it hurts.I'm not exactly a believer in the afterlife, but just imagining he might be somewhere bad, haunts me.I'm thinking in going to some kind of professional to talk about it.