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I may be losing it.

I just feel insane right now. like I can be happy but I can also be super sad and just not want to live life. One day I'm upbeat and making big plans, the next I hate everything. My moods are just crazy and scary, but I hide my emotions because I've trained myself to. I don't act out and I have good self control. I get scary intrusive thoughts of hurting someone or myself and I feel so guilty and scared because of them. I've never acted upon these thoughts, but I read that it's important to share them with someone because you could still act on them even with self control. Genuinely, I don't know what to do. I use apps to track my moods now because I think it's good to track them everyday throughout the day and plus my counselor might want to see these moods when I tell her on Wednesday about them. I just feel crazy and sometimes get guilt for feeling both moods.