I could scream I still think about you I lie to myself every morning saying not knowing if you're okay doesn't bother me I tell myself you're happier living a better life I say your love wasn't good enough for him so removing yourself out of his life do he could find someone who couldWas the best most selfless thing I've ever done. I broke my own heart for you. Yet you think I discarded you and threw you away? I was in love, so deeply in love that anyone who saw us knew I was yours 3AM text I'm on my home, I was ready because I knew where you were stopping firstIn the middle of the night I can't sleep Talk to me til sunrise I was on the other end of the lineHey I need to go for a driveAll day long just talking singing songs on the radioI was there riding shotgun We were so connected I could say your name or think it and guess who's texting/calling when my phone ringsA whole room of people could be between us and I could find you because I could feel your eyes watching my every move, you'd smile and I'd meltYou'd kiss me I'd cry we'd fall asleep kissing It was all about emotions It was pure intimacy with us Time didn't matter to me I was dedicated beyond my own reasoningSex wasn't even part of the equation for damn near a decade , I stopped seeing other men while you were gone to school,though then you finally mentioned that you had a girlfriend the entire time, we were together, our dynamic changed, I changed drastically starter taking out my anger, sadness, pretty much any upset sexually. I got help for that later onWe had one night it was the last time we actually saw each other and I wanted there to be more to the relationship, I realized that night it was never going to happen and what I was to you, that what we had was one sided ... you didn't want the commitment, just everything else that came with it, so I ended it. Still til this day I feel you it's crazy I hate admitting it but I do If you're going through it the universe see's fit to let me know the only difference between then and now is I don't call , I run from any thoughts of you because it hurtsI couldn't even look you in the face now without crying, I was working on forgettingUntil I dreamed of you the other day, it's been 3years and there you were in my dream talking to me like we use to and somehow after these dreamsyou'd always show upI have a feeling you might have Posted here once or twiceIf you read this , love you alwaysI'm fine just stay away please I know it doesn't sound like it from the beginning of this but I'm fine.