Tonight at work I heard a stranger tell someone next to her, “look at how big she is.. I bet she doesn’t share her bed. She would sleep alone because she would need all of the bed” .. I am grateful that the lady next to her defended me. I felt humiliated and wished I hadn’t heard it. Having struggled with chronic illness and trying so hard to be healthy, but apparently I am offensive to others.... I feel depressed, like I don’t deserve to be here... No, not thinking of self harm. Just over other people assuming they know your story based on what they see. No, I don’t sit about eating all day... I work hard, eat healthy but due to fatigue from heart failure I don’t have energy to run marathons. I can tell you this as many other like me would, I do not enjoy any meal I eat. Due to guilt and shame and knowing others look at you thinking you don’t deserve to eat. I don’t cook for this reason, I have never allowed myself to enjoy it as all food will always be bad..I won’t however allow people to damage me so much that I would judge another as harshly as I am almost daily.Ever been close to death in an emergency room when no one could tell you if you would survive and still have people tell you to try slim shakes... “Get the gastric sleeve done”, ppl say... When you tell them you will die on the table they tell you it’s worth doing anyway.Eat an apple , you get told “good for you making healthy choices” ..So I apologize to you for being so disgusting to look at, I’m sorry I exist and share your air.To answer your question stranger lady, I do sleep alone and not because I need the entire bed. I sleep alone because I feel that I do not deserve to be loved because I can’t love myself.