I am 12, but a lot has happened in my life already. My sister has committed suicide less than a year ago, and I found her body along with my mom. My parents are in the middle of a messy divorce that has dragged on for at least 3 years. I am asking for some help and advice. I am doing this anonymously because I am too scared to tell my mom and my therapist. I recently watched slender man stabbing videos on youtube. I realized than I am scared that I will hurt people. Like stab them. These thoughts are really disturbing for me, so they must be disturbing for you too. Let me enlighten you. These thoughts are like the good angel on one of my shoulders and the bad demon on the other. I argue with myself trying to reason with the bad side of myself. I also hate my body, but I don't really need to explain that. I am also stressed out a lot. Partially because I am scared of myself and partially because I don’t want to be pressured by the court to talk to my dad. Long story short, my life is very crazy right now, and I am very afraid that my brain is crazy and sick. I also don’t want to be sent to like a mental hospital or be put on meds because I love ballet and won’t be able to dance if that happens. Thank you, any support and advice will help.