First. Breathe. You are your energy, and frankly it’s beautiful.i have a hard dang feeling a lot of this is to do with school context.i don’t want to push the whole “it will get better crap” cause it sounds like a damn tampon commercial.but hand of god. It will get better. School and high school in particular feel like a combination of purgatory and literally torture combine. That is of course if you don’t happen to fit in the nice little boxes.which by your words seems to say you don’t actually, and you often say things ( like about overtly NOT liking people on purpose to make a point about how stupid it is)well you’re right it is stupid... but you’re also right. You will ALSO feel stupid damn feelings that would legit be easier if you didn’t.congrats you appear to have empathy. That’s more than half the battle than you know.i can’t say “tell everyone how you feel! That’s the answer!”cause it’s not. The answer is: it’s ok to feel, it might not work out and that’s ok, fuck anyone who makes you feel bad for feeling feelings.you don’t get to decide who you like any more than the food you like. However they might not be into it. It’s ok for real. There are a lot of people out here who might be into you for just you.give it a shot.