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I need advice.

I'm worried about myself. I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder and my anxiety was on a rise for two school years and now I suddenly no longer have anxiety about anything. My mood swings have been constant for a week now, maybe two weeks, I wasn't paying attention last week to them. And one moment I'm up and super happy and on top of the world, the next I kind of wanna die and just leave everything behind. I get bad intrusive thoughts and I feel so guilty for having them, and I have self control but that doesn't mean I won't do it. I have a counselor and I meet with her on Wednesday, problem is if I tell her these things she may have to tell my mom and I don't want to worry my mom. I think I will tell my counselor because I haven't actually done anything to myself or others, maybe it will stop me. Maybe I'll have to see a psychiatrist but it's better than doing something. I'm so scared and worried, I almost burst into tears at the dinner table tonight.