Hello, I really need some help. and i think that writing this might help me out. I have been having a bad life. When i was young I have been beaten, bullied and raped. I lost my grand mother who was the only person that defended me and protected me when i was very young. Other than my grand mother i never really got love. my father beat me, bought my love and forgiveness with gifts but would remind me how lucky i was to even be born since he didn't want me. My mother cared for my brother only and never cared for me. Because of that since i was young i tried to find someone to pay attention to me and love me. I was then in a car accident that made me lose most of my memories. which was when my parents divorced and we moved to another country. I never fit in became alone since i didn't speak the language. We also moved around a lot. during this time i would meet some friends but most of them left me. or weren't friends at all since they would stab me behind my back. when i graduated high school i tried to run away by joining the military but I failed at that. since than i drank to the point that i couldn't be called living. I worked 2-3 jobs at a time. I was scammed out of thousands. I had joined AA but i failed at that. I don't know how i can continue anymore. TBH i have thoughts of suicide everyday.
Re: I need help
I am really sorry to hear your story it is sad! But what I understand from your story is that you are fighter you never gave up on hope when so many things happened in your life.
Don't give up and please don't think of suicide.Your life is precious to God and it's should be to you. Don't think of ending it.being failed at something doesn't mean you are worthless it means you tried. So keep trying don't give up.
It's hard I understand because you already have been through so much in life but trust me. If you give up on your life it will be the biggest failure of your life.
You are brave and fighter and I think you got this. Forgive yourself first and forgive the people who did you wrong in past in order to find peace in your present moment.
Don't dwell in past your past is gone... Be in present and dream for good future. No one else will do it for you you have to do it for yourself.
Read some motivational books or listen to some motivational TED Talks.
Re: I need help
You should reach out for help. This website has some resources. ❤️
You are so important in this world.
I know it’s hard to see right now, but if you do this for yourself it will be so meaningful. Please please please reach out!