i suck

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idk why am i like this? yesterday night i had a huge argument with my father and as usual my mamma supported him without even knowing the whole story. well she should have coz ik i am really rude to my parents. i have even seen my father crying coz of me. they love me so much and i just say whatever i want to them. it's my birthday next week and i even got to know that my parents are planning to surprise me. they always do their best to keep me happy and i just make them cry. i have never been a good daughter to them. i feel jealous of my friends seeing how their parents are proud of them and i just do nothing to make my parents feel proud. 99% of my family's problems are because of me. sometimes i just feel like this house must have been so peaceful if i weren't born. all because of my anger issues. i speak all shit when i am angry and regret all that i said after i calm down but then it's just too late. i now have lost all hopes to live after doing this much to them:'(

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