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i think i am going crazy

i don’t really know what to say. i genuinely feel like expressing my thoughts to someone but i feel selfish talking about what i feel. i just turned 18 and i feel like i’m failing in life. i think it’s because i’m lazy. I’m not good for anything. i’m an only child and i’m quite shy so i have no one to tell anything. But i hate my brain. Not only the way i look or the way i do things but also the way i think. I think i’m going crazy though. i don’t know what to do. i’m not a nice person either. i just hate every inch of myself. i wish i was someone else. i wish i wasn’t insane