I tried giving him a second chance, the bastard convinced me after time of telling me he loved me, regreted our break up and how "from his heart of hearts" didn't think he'd be able to let me go.
He broke me off again with the same excuse like the first time "i don't think i'm ready for people emotionally" after using me for a week and a half only for sex.
Now thanks to mutual friends i know he was having heavily sexual conversations with some girl he was friends with while he was telling me all this stuff, and even did sexual stuff with her a week after our breakup, with her being already in a relationship, albeit with an asshole who cheated on her, but still a shitty thing to do, excusing himself with -he kinda deserved it-.
Now he's heartbroken and depressed because they two broke up and he actually "felt a genuine connection to her, only her understood him and he was in love with her" and is now trying to come to me looking for emotional support, after ghosting and avoiding me in every way for 3 months also right after our breakup, the asshole even had the courage to say "but we can still talk about our crushes to eachother and talk like regular friends!!" In his breakup text, And directly avoided me for months.
I'm such a fucking asshole, i suck and i hate myself so much, because he is honestly a good friend to everyone else and he's a sweetheart, he is trully a good guy, maybe an idiot but he's not bad.
But for some reason, i felt so happy knowing he was so sad over that girl leaving him just a few weeks into their "serious relationship" after breaking up with the other asshat and that they're now awkward and don't talk anymore. I was so happy knowing he had fucked up big this time, and i'm happy he's having a rough time now specially that he's trying to talk to me back, the kind of heartbreak he made me feel and the horrible chest pain it gave me when i heard he was being sexual with her while he was telling me such sweet things, when was with me and JUST a week after the second breakup directly participating in sexual shit. I hope he feels every bit of it.
And the worst part, he doesn't even know i know this, our friends asked me directly to not tell him or make him find out, so he's here acting to me like that didn't happen, and i have to sit here acting like i don't know, only because i don't want to hurt nor get these friends involved in this overly dramatic, stupid almost highschool type of sht, its ridiculous.
This sucks, and i'm a fucking delusional, stupid asshole. I'll rot in hell for being happy over him being heartbroken.
I'm the asshole in this whole situation, in the end, i just know that for some reason.