3 months ago
Time Spent- 17m
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I think my boyfriend is emotionally abusing me...

I need advices

He's short tempered and every time I do something, even the smallest things that irritates him, he gets mad easily. He says hurtful words like I'm always the ''problem'' and I need to seek professional help. Every fight that we had, it always goes to me being the problem....

It's honestly driving me mad. I've been always insecure about myself, concerned about the smallest things that I do, just to avoid quarrels. I do think I need professional help, I know something's wrong with me. I have my own flaws and we see things differently and have our own opinions but every time I need speak up he always say '' go ahead, I already know what you're going to say anyway.''

I told him that I was taking pills that would keep me calm when we fight but he just told me that he's not concerned about it, because he used to do it.

He always say that I'm just playing the victim and he would rather like me to go seek help than to go home to my home country and see him (we're in a long distance relationship)

I don't know what to do.....

I just want to let this all out because i feel like i have no one to talk to......

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3 months ago

Re: I think my boyfriend is emotionally abusing me...

You both need to go for counseling, there is a thing called finding your fighting language and ensuring that as much as disagreements will take place, its done so respectfully. I experienced the same with my husband until we learnt to fight on the same wave length. Its practice because sometimes old habits creep in, hes exactly like your bf. I would always wonder how someone can say that they love you but can treat you like that. I also calked him out on the abuse, you could seecit hit home because his dad did the same to him and he knows the feeling.

I know this might not be what you want to hear but from the way you are talking about things it is emotionally abusive, it is hard to gain perspective on your relationship as I don’t know much about it.

however, I do know that every relationship people have different love languages and ways they need to be cared for and sometimes you need to figure out exactly what you need from a relationship to help you grow. Remember relationships are there to make you happy not to tear you down.

You sound like you can acknowledge your flaws and work on them but in order to do that you need someone who will support you and lift you up in order to do that. and visa versus.

once the boundary has been crossed of calling names and being out to hurt each other and be spiteful in a relationship no matter how much it’s promised that it will change it won’t. I bet that the first time he was nasty it wasn’t that bad but each argument he will push the boundary further and further using nastier words and saying more hurtful things. If that is the case then you need to understand that it won’t change. sometimes the best thing you can do for you is to leave it and move on.

do you really think you won’t meet someone who will treat you better and treat you with the respect you deserve? because when you realise there is you will have a weight lifted and when you end up with someone who can actually treat you right then you will look back and think “what the hell was I thinking”

I think the fact you have written this post should tell yourself how toxic this relationship no relationship should make you unhappy where you feel like you have to post something like that.

I hope you feel my advice has helped, please update on how you are feeling moving forward