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I tried .. I don’t know.

I’m trying this for the first time. Hi. I don’t know why and how I reached here. I’ve never had any major problem in my life ever so I think it doesn’t actually justify me seeking for help. It feels like I’m just trynna fit into the zone where people have issues. But sometimes It feels hella empty. I feel I actually have no one. I feel I’m the only person who’s been a goodfriend to everyone but never got it in return. I feel I’ve always made the wrong choices by investing in people who weren’t gonna stay. And Ofcourse I cannot force them either. It’s like I’ve given up trying. I don’t wanna beg I don’t ask I don’t say. Maybe they don’t know what’s going on in my head but I cannot explain either. Along the way I’ve made gazillions of mistake. I’m sorry but Ive never been close to my mom dad either. It feels wrong to say this, Idk why it feels like im begging for attention but i never said that hey I’m not treated properly but that isn’t what I’m saying. Im saying that I’ve never had anyone to share what I’m really going through, moreover I’ve only had them tell me that I’m a disappointment. I’m not needed. I’m the problem. Ive tried to overcome this by various ways. Like ive tried to become a adamant kid, a brat and everything. But I don’t wanna be that. I wanna get better. I seriously wanna make things right. I do. But I’m so empty. I have this void idk what’s gonna fill that. I’m just.. done. And ... i feel if i even try to explain.. they’ll think I’m too desperate for sympathy. I don’t want that. I want help. I need help.