everyday i wake up and i think about dying, i self harm and i love the feeling of pain, the way it sends chills through my body. i love blood and the way its red and how it gushes out of the deep cuts on my arms. i have been sexually abused for 7 years and physically since i was 5, i am now 14 and wondering what the hell was wrong with me, i got taken out of my parents care and placed in foster care with a loving family. i feel i dont deserve to be loved. i feel as if anyone in the world should be shunned it should be me. i feel like a burden and a mistake and i feel like i dont belong here.