i want a bf but not

Time Spent- 37m
18 Visitors

I am 18 year old and am dying for having a bf because i never had one.

When i see my frnds and their bfs/gfs i get jealous . i believe in true love and have seen many relationships not working out . i get scared very very scared as if i would fall for someone and what if he ditches me .

It's not that i haven't ever got any pro or something , i have got many , some of them were not that much serious , while even some were, but for me if i fall in love with someone it has to be on the first sight because for me my frnnds are like my brothers i wont ever fall for any of my frnd ever in my life and even if that person is not my frnd if i am not attracted to him on the first go then i wont be able to get feelings for him ever i n future . There had been times i got crush on someone but then i am a coward i think myself of a girl who is not so smart , attractive , pretty and thinks that guys like my crush wont ever fall for a girl like me , that's why i have never asked any of my crush out .

For me i am even scared to get into a relationship because i am insecure about my body , my colour , my face everything i have .

I think i cant have sex with my bf because i have a bit darker pubis , and i am a bit chubby from my thighs , belly , and my skin is not clear , my hairline is a bit highand my nose is long . I think the men i like wont ever notice me because of what i am, what i look like and of how i behave.

But still i just want someone to be there for me .

Is it that hard for good-looking guys to notice normal girls like us .