I’m lonely, I feel really down and can’t seem to get up. I want a girlfriend but I’m too shy. I need to be loved, I’ve failed no nut November and I’ve failed myself. I want to be happy and with someone. I don’t tell anyone anything and I have so many emotions bottled up inside me, some anger but mostly sadness. My life is spiralling downwards ever since my loss of self confidence. I don’t have a job I don’t have a girlfriend I don’t have a goal in life, it’s just to keep on living. People say you’ve got your family and they love you but sometimes family isn’t enough. I want to love someone in another way. Sometimes I lay awake at night and imagine myself somewhere else as someone else, someone tall and handsome and funny, someone with lots of money and who isn’t a virgin in grade 11. I don’t think I have depression I just think I’m lonely. I don’t want to be lonely anymore, but I don’t have the guts to ask someone out. I want a cute and nice girlfriend and I want to lose my virginity, I want to go to parties do things teens are supposed to do but instead of a shy short kid who rides around on a bmx and drinks coffee too much. I wish I could be more confident but I feel girls only want tall guys. I’m not complaining about my height but I really wish I could at least be 5’10. I can’t seem to bring myself to get a job and I think I masturbate too much because I’m lacking the touch and love of a woman. I don’t do it everyday but maybe every second day. I don’t know the healthy amount but I constantly feel guilty. I haven’t even had my first kiss and I’m 17. I’m a pathetic loser and I hate being me. I want out.