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I want to destroy my life on purpose

I want to completely and totally ruin my life. On purpose. I’m not sure why but I just want to become invisible. Be forgotten by my family and friends, have nobody who cares about me, nobody who thinks about me. I just want a life where I don’t have to feel like I’m constantly letting every last person I know down. This isn’t suicidal, I would never commit, talk about letting down those who love you; lol. I just wish that I could be erased completely. Like any knowledge of me wiped from the minds of everyone who ever knew me, not leave any pain behind, just not exist in the first place.