I want to die

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I was having sex with my cousin when i was 4(we're both male). He was in high school during that time. He would ask me to make him hard, suck his dick and other unimaginable things a child would do. I grew up being attracted to men but at the same time guilty of my past experiences. I confessed to my mom last December(24 yrs later) thinking that she would accept my sexuality and be mad to my cousin because of all those things he made me do when I was 4, but she just said that "I'll pray for you to be straight" and didn't even reacted to what my cousin did. I want to die. I'm a f****** 28 y.o adult who is suffering from depression and has childhood trauma... maybe in my next life someone will support me.

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