I want to die

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When I was a little kid I remember my dad hitting my mom a lot and I hate him so so so much. Both my parents suck my mom uses her trauma as an excuse to physically and mentally and verbally abuse me and my siblings. PLEASE PLEASE don’t have a kid if you can’t even handle 1. I’m so sick of my life since I was 7 I’ve been raising my siblings and I’m SO tired of coming home from school with 5 kids to look after and I can’t hang out with my friends and go to parties or go on a vacation with my family like a normal 13 year old. The youngest are almost 3 now so I don’t have as many responsibilities as before but I’m so tired of my mom saying they’re my responsibility. THEY ARENT! I would have never wanted sisters if you want me to raise them mom. I hate you for ruining my life I hate you for ruining me as a mother I hate you so much you ruined but but deep down I still love you. I just wish god would take me before I do. I’ve cried myself to sleep praying I drop dead and I wish it happened..

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