I have this burning urge inside of me to die. I have no one my presence exhausts everyone around me. I can’t be saved. I’ve stayed too long trying to save people who wouldn’t care if I left forever. I can bare to hurt everyone but him. He would be broken- never see it coming. I could never do that to him. Therefore I stay now- to protect him only. While turning a blind eye to my burning desire to end it all. Now I wait, until I slowly push him away in a downpour of self sabotage and I will know it’s my time to go